What being a Mental Health First Aider has taught me

When I signed up to become one of the Radcliffe Department of Medicine's Mental Health First Aiders (MHFAider), I didn't have a single defining moment that led me there. It was more of a silent curiosity and a sense that I wanted to understand the topic a little better.

I've always tried to approach life with as much lightness and positivity as I can, while also knowing that life doesn't always meet us in the same way. We all carry things that aren't immediately visible. In the workplace, we often know each other through projects, deadlines, meetings, and emails, but beyond that there are whole stories, challenges, and experiences that we don't see. Becoming a MHFAider felt like a way of acknowledging that; not because I thought I could fix everything, but because I wanted to be more present, more aware, and equipped with better tools and a better understanding to be able to offer support, even in small ways.

The MHFA training itself gives you useful tools and frameworks, but what really stayed with me was the importance of listening and creating a safe space for someone to speak openly if they choose to. Shortly after completing the training, I experienced something that brought all of this into much sharper focus: someone I knew died by suicide. It was a deeply distressing time for me and many others who knew them. Alongside the shock and sadness, there was also a difficult and very human response: a sense of guilt and the question of whether we might have missed something. When something like this happens close to home, it can be hard not to go over past conversations or interactions, wondering if there were signs we didn't recognise at the time.

I've come to realise that there isn't always a straightforward answer to that feeling. What the experience has helped me understand, though, is an important boundary: being a MHFAider doesn't mean carrying all the responsibility, having all the answers, or fully understanding everything people may be going through. Instead, it's about being present in a compassionate and non-judgemental way, offering time and attention in moments that might otherwise go unnoticed, and gently helping someone find further support if and when they need it.

There may be sometimes a misconception that MHFAiders are there to step in with solutions acting as informal counsellors, or that they are equipped to resolve complex situations, when in reality, the role is much more about presence than expertise. Often, it's not about saying the perfect thing, but about being willing to sit with someone in a difficult moment, without rushing to fix it or move past it. That can feel unfamiliar, particularly in environments where we are used to problem-solving and finding answers.

Day to day, the role is not always visible nor it does look like a defined set of tasks. Sometimes it might be a quiet check-in with a colleague, a conversation over coffee, or simply creating an environment where someone feels safe to say, 'I'm finding things a bit difficult at the moment.' Emotionally, it can be both meaningful and a little heavy at times, as you become more aware of the fact that people around you may be carrying more than you realise. But alongside that, there is also something grounding in knowing that small acts of attention and kindness can matter.

For me, it's also changed how I approach everyday interactions at work. I try to be more present in conversations and to listen with the intention of understanding, rather than simply responding. Ultimately, it's encouraged me to be mindful about not making assumptions about how someone might be feeling or coping.

If there's one thing I hope people take away from this blog post, it's that you don't need to be a MHFAider to make a meaningful impact. You don't need formal training to check in with someone, to ask how they are, and to truly listen to the answer. You don't need to have the 'right' words ready or feel completely confident in what to say. Often, simply showing empathy and being present is enough to open a door.

At the same time, it's just as important to recognise our limits, as supporting others doesn't mean taking everything on ourselves. Part of creating a safe and sustainable environment is knowing when to encourage someone to seek further help, and making sure we're also looking after our own wellbeing.

Being a MHFAider isn't about being an expert. It's about noticing, showing empathy, and being willing to pause in a busy day to genuinely connect with someone. And if that helps someone feel even slightly less uneasy, then it feels like something worth doing.

Further reading

Read about mental health support on the RDM intranet
Explore the University's mental health awareness training